My first staff feedback in a long time, and it's going to be a novel. An important one though. After being staff on this server for almost two and a half years, I've seen a lot of people come and go. Some of them have been amazing, some of them...not so much. I put a lot of time in here, made a lot of mistakes, learned from them, and kept going. I've trained new staff, said goodbye and/or demoted old ones, and formed a lot of friendships that I still hold today. "Unprofessional." This is the only real hint or explanation I got as to why I was demoted. Unlike my constituent, Sandy, I wasn't approached by octa or lindsu directly (she sent me the logs of that conversation though, and that led me to write this). Instead, one of my best friends here, Xinn, was coerced into demoting me and her sister. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more demotions to come (maybe not so now, for arse-covering), and that Xinn will be pushed to make more unpleasant decisions. But not based on any guidelines that I ever read. The decisions are made out of speculation and one biased side of a story. Only part of the Lead team, the preferred part of the equation whether they knew it or not, was addressed to make these decisions. And though mine and Sandy's cases were separate, the rest of the Lead team is instead left to wonder why mine and Sandy's fates were such, and if they're going to be next. To that end, octagami, good work--you've made half of your Lead staff, and those who follow under them, paranoid, angry, and confused. I guess it doesn't matter though, given what I know now. About "unprofessionalism": Spoiler Let me tell you about unprofessional. PThagaard decided to invade people's privacy, cuss out players and staff alike on the regular (I got to read over all of his unsavory mod trial posts in the archives when I was researching for my museum), and lo and behold--he's given virtual Admin status in your absence. I realized that I was acting too much like PT after cussing out one staff member openly in a criminalizing manner, make a very necessary apology post to staff, and the Leads. But I'm unprofessional. i0range, Xinn, Sandy, and half the current Leads openly and publicly have called and cussed players out in global chats--against the very first few damn lines of the moderator chat guidelines. I handle one particular ban appeal poorly (even though I got approval from staff in extending the ban), but a majority of the long-time ban appeals appropriately, digging for as much information and facts as possible. But I'm unprofessional. A moderator is on for one week every nine months, somehow gets to keep staff because she's "the oldest moderator." A Dev gets to leave for months without so much as a peep and come back as if nothing's happened. And my long time friend Bowie is given Dev without her knowledge and basically kept as a placeholder even though she's made her departure very well known. The owner himself bears a long standing opposition to me--despite all of my work for this server, all of the hours I've put in. Refuses to talk to me directly about all of his concerns whilst he plans my replacement with a long standing favorite, and then gets my best friend to demote me with a half assed reason as to why. But I'm the unprofessional one. Whether he holds a true negative view of me or not, this is how it was perceived--by me, and by others. And lastly, to the person who deserves all the credit and respect in the world, @Xinn . You've handled more than your fair share of BS from everyone. You're incredible, and it took more guts for you to demote me and your sister than anyone I've ever known here. I appreciate you and your presence, even though you're a dork sometimes. And no matter how many mistakes you've made, or I've made, you forgive me and I forgive you. You're too good for this. And before anyone assumes the reason I know what I know is because Xinn told me anything--you're wrong. If any fingers are pointed at anyone still on staff, you're wrong. Don't make anyone else feel like they're a jackwagon--it's stupid, and pointless--and knowing intimately how things work around here, it's sadly probably going to happen anyways. Like I said, Sandy sent me her conversation with octagami. The rest was from deduction, having been part of the staff team for as long as I have and knowing how it works, knowing who octagami prefers to talk to in the Lead team, and who has since messaged me sharing their detest in the actions made without their full involvement or approval. I did my best not to break the staff charter or any kind of rules--seeing as a majority of what I've put here is public in some regard. If it is against the charter, I'm apparently unprofessional anyways. And if this gets deleted, it just shows there's no real regard for a charter or the rules in the first place. If I had been talked to before demotion was a consideration, with concern about my activity and behavior, I honestly was leaning toward stepping down. Over the past couple months I've disgraced myself, honestly, behind the scenes. I've never thought myself to be good in the role, but the community saw differently--and to that end, I'm eternally grateful. But this went down in a way that personally insulted me, my character, and all of the work I've put in here. I feel sick, and I'm leaving. And I'm taking Lucille with me.